I can’t believe it was only a year ago that Barb and I watched the most amazing 4th of July fireworks display in Weatherford, Texas with some close friends. Fast- forward to this year… Watching the fireworks on TV just wasn’t the same. However, the global pandemic and many other social issues are creating their own fireworks. Through all of the noise, I’m struggling to get a clear view of the facts.

I’m not sure what to believe because… quite honestly… I’m not sure who to believe. What does it really mean to trust someone? Think about that for a moment. Of all the people you know, whom do you trust? Like me, you probably have family members, close friends, and a variety of colleagues whom you trust.

Then, consider why you trust them. I may not see well, but even I am not willing to blindly trust anyone (pun intended). When it comes to trusting others, I’d like to share the five criteria I use to establish and build trust.

TRUTH
Is this person telling the truth?
If someone shares information with me, I want to believe it, but if I don’t know the person well, or they aren’t an established credible source, I’ll usually research what was said, and when it was said, to confirm that it is actually true. The more often that person shares correct information with me, the more comfortable I become. That comfort with the truth helps me to be less skeptical and more trusting.

RESPECT
Is this person respectful?
When someone shares information with me, I actively listen because that’s respectful. I also take note of how they speak to me. If they are condescending or rude to me, I am far less likely to trust anything they have to say. However, if they communicate their message with respect for everyone involved, no matter the message, no matter the audience, they will begin to gain my trust.

UNDERSTANDING
Is this person making an effort to understand me and my situation?
Not everyone has walked a day in everyone else’s shoes. Yet, taking the time to truly listen to one another provides each of us the opportunity to learn. We don’t need to agree, share the same beliefs, or even experience the same upbringing. Yet, in order to establish trust we must each make an effort to begin to understand our differences… and our similarities. My willingness to trust is based in part on the other person’s willingness to truly understand my situation as they share their information.

SINCERITY
Is this person being sincere?
When someone or something sounds too good to be true – too perfect, it probably is. It’s then that I question the sincerity of the other person. The “fake” persona is a giant red flag for me. There are too many real challenges in the world right now to be drawn in by someone who doesn’t care enough to be genuine. However, here is an opportunity to let actions speak louder than words. Sincerity is much more than tone of voice. It results in actions that back up those words.

TIME
How long have I known or interacted with this person?
For me, there is no immediate trust. Learning to trust someone takes time. Considering all of the other elements of TRUST, none are ideal in isolation. They are solidified over… time. The more time that passes, and the more often these criteria are repeated, the more likely I am to trust.

Speaking of time, make some time to consider whom you trust and why. Then, reflect on who trusts you and why. Each answer will provide new insights as to your limits regarding trust.

For me, these aren’t just criteria to establish and build trust with others. I carefully consider each in myself. Am I trustworthy in the eyes of those around me?

As I reflect, I’m reminded that our currency contains the words, “In God we trust”, but do we? I’m not here to challenge your faith. I just know that statement is true for me. God is consistent, unchanging, and His love for me is unconditional. In these uncertain times I encourage you to ask yourself…
“In whom do I place my trust?”